In a few days, I’ll be sending my 14-year-old son off to a specialty camp where he’ll spend four days in a completely different world. He’ll meet new people and he’ll need to function under a different set of rules. He will also be 10 hours away from home.
He’s going with a group from his school. He’s excited, and so am I … sort of. Here’s the problem: Some of his classmates do not bring out the best in Sean. I have some real concerns about this group of boys getting rowdy, obnoxious and out of control.
Now I’ve invested a significant amount of money in this experience, so it’s important to me that I help him be successful. Here’s what I did:
* Anticipated the problem: I didn’t wait until I got a post-event call from an angry teacher. This is lesson one: You’ve got to see it coming in order to address it.
* Explained my observations: I saw how the group of boys interacted, and used that as a springboard for my conversation with Sean. I didn’t wait until he’s boarding the bus at 5 a.m. to give him The Lecture.
* Listened to his perspective: Guess what? He agreed that once he and the guys get wild, it’s hard to put the monkey back in the box. He confided that he wasn’t looking forward to 10 hours of chaos on the bus. Bingo! I now had his buy-in.
* Brainstormed solutions: Instead of waiting for trouble to find him, we talked about the need to be proactive and put himself in a good place. We focused on the specifics of his situation, such as finding the right spot on the bus or setting up his bunk.
* Understand the importance: This is my guy’s first experience with independence, and he needs to do it right. In four short years he’s off to college, and his own life. Independence and success need to start now.
It was really good timing that I’d just viewed a video <http://members.vistelar.com/8675/art-of-representation-as-explained-by-dr-george-thompson/> on our Vistelar blog about the Art of Representation. In the video (it’s a great vintage clip by Dr. George Thompson), there’s a strong call to rise above who you are personally and embody all the fine qualities that you represent.
In the video, Dr. Thompson addressed law enforcement officers directly. But it’s fine advice … and it works for me, a mother who wants her son to reflect the best in his family, his school and his community.
